Ok, this is not going to be the bright & sunny blog you’re used to reading (but I promise to make the next one cheery)… I’ve decided if I can expand my comfort zone to include the entire church praying for my diarrhea, why can’t it include some soul sharing too?
The 3 weeks I spent in Canada were so great. I was able to catch up with friends & family and enjoy the comforts of home. But somehow it seemed to change me. Or maybe, & more likely, I changed before going home & the downtime let the change move from my head to my heart. I was able to share with friends & family my thoughts on serving with H2H long term. It’s really what I feel God is calling me to do & He is constantly re-enforcing that by stretching & molding me in ways I can’t deny that He’s leading me, following me & walking along side me. If I’m so confident in this calling then why, upon my return, am I feeling completely exhausted & constantly battling the desire to retreat to my room, crawl into my beautiful bed, turn on some “real” music & hide? Thinking long term seems to have hampered my ability to live in the moment – I’m too focused on what needs to be changed, rather than what’s unique and already working great! This is not a feeling I’m used to, nor one I want to get used to! Am I really cut out for this? Can I survive the constant draw on my heart?
I know the answer is simple… God never gives you what you cannot handle… Satan tempts you more when he sees you following God’s calling… God will always give you the skills, gifts & resources you need to accomplish your task… Don’t wait until your cup is empty, allow God to fill it up so that’s it’s always overflowing.
The problem is how do you take these answers & make them reality in a place like Haiti? How do I allow my support network (you) connect with me in a way that minimizes the loneliness & isolation? How do I stay within God’s presence?
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I have had people share their soul with me after reading one of my blog entries & the connection we’ve had through their willingness to open up has made me realize the power of communication & the danger of being alone. I am blessed to be serving at H2H in Haiti and I am blessed to have the support network I have back in Canada. My hope is that after you read this you will pray for me… and then be able to speak into my life. Am I normal? Have I gotten to much sun?? Has the diet of rice & spaghetti poisoned me?? Ok, maybe I’m going over the edge a bit now ☺
I have another prayer request. Little Junior has typhoid fever. He has been sick for the past few days & today the Doctor confirmed it is typhoid. He is on medication & is already feeling better but it’s tough to see someone so little fight something so big. Please pray for strength for him & for wisdom as we help him.